Do we turn our cheek to pave the beaten road we’re sometimes on? Often times I find myself in a bad situation, realizing I could have seen it coming long before. Why do we end up in places we don’t belong? Are we truly unaware? I think we are subconsciously aware of what we are getting ourselves into. A little voice speaks up when this happens and it is easy to stomp on it and ignore. Denial can be for many “good” reasons at the time, whether it’s that we are having fun, trying new things, being optimistic or hopeful. Whatever it is, we really need to stop and listen more closely.
Have you ever been in a relationship where it was completely obvious this person had commitment issues and asshole tendencies from day one? I have. I ignored the voice in my head because I was “having fun”. Having fun turned into being optimistic, turned into being hopelessly hopeful, turned into well I got this far I guess I’m use to it, turned to I am SO CLOSE to making it to the altar and then we will have all the time in the world for things to get better, turned into, well, disaster. On the last day he had commitment issues and asshole tendencies, just as he had on the first. I could have seen the fate of that relationship years away, but I made the choice not to.
Have you ever taken a job just to have a job? I’ve taken a job realizing that the pay wouldn’t work for me, management was inappropriate and unprofessional, and most employees were unhappy. I took it because I was excited and hopeful that things would change. I had a friend I adored that worked there, and I believed everything would settle in to be perfect. I quit that job many years later because the pay didn’t work for me, management was unprofessional, and because now I too, was unhappy. I knew the issues even before I started training, but I refused to accept the business the way it was.
Why do we think our presence will change things? It spotlights an important lesson that before we jump in to something, we need to accept it for the way it is and not try to change it. We need to take charge and make good decisions for ourselves based on our acceptance of the truth. I think we would all be spared a lot of grief if we exercised this simple idea. It is never too late to get out of something and start over. We will all make mistakes, but how do we keep from repeating them?
1) Listen to your intuition. It will alert you if something doesn’t seem right.
2) If an altercation happens, or if a concern arises, write it down.
3) Review this log from time to time to see if anything has changed. If you find you are writing down the same concern again, it may be time to take action.
4) Accept people for who they are. They are who they show you they are. The same goes for jobs. Have fair and realistic expectations.
5) Never stay too long in an uncomfortable place. You belong where you are appreciated.
Do yourself a favor and next time you are at a crossroads, don’t convince yourself to put one, two, or even five years into something to see how it goes. Life is very long when you’re miserable. Yes, I said long, and ridden with disappointment. Be the boss to lead you on the right path. The things you can accomplish by using your time and energy for deserving opportunities is limitless!
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