how to be the most likable person in the room

Originally published on The Haute Mess | October 13th

We all just want to be liked, don’t we? Sometimes we just don’t give a shit and I think that’s great, but there are times when it’s favorable to come across as a normal and likable person.

If you want people to like you, it comes down to being approachable and considerate.

Let’s pretend we are at an event where we are meeting the head of our company, our significant other’s parents, and our new neighbor at the same time.

Be Approachable

This is a lesson in life that I cannot stress enough. Do you have a hard time dating? Landing a job? Making friends?

You’re probably not approachable.

You need to be aware of the vibe you are giving off. Check your body language, your arms should not be folded over your chest. You should be standing comfortably, displaying good posture, with your arms relaxed and hands by your stomach.

This way when you engage in conversation, you can move your arms in a controlled manner. What does your face look like? Don’t have a bitch face. I have a natural bitch face and it’s not an excuse. Change your bitch face. Keep a smile on your face. When you are talking to people, smile when you talk. Look like you are happy and friendly and having a good time.

People will instantly like you more and you are guaranteed to have a better chance at being approached in a group. People gravitate to happy looking people.

Have Consideration

Don’t be a jackass. When people are talking to you, pay attention. Don’t be on your phone or looking around the room. Never cut someone off, it’s unforgettably rude.

When someone is talking to you, listen with your mouth closed, literally! If your mouth is open you are more inclined to cut someone off. Don’t be thinking about your response when someone is talking, genuinely listen to what they are saying. When it’s time to make an exit, acknowledge who you have met and bow out gracefully. Don’t actually bow. Unless you’re in Japan.

Use Hospitality

Try to make a point of saying hello to someone who looks uncomfortable. Shake their hand and smile while your greet them. Always use this line “It’s so nice to see you”, instead of “It’s so nice to meet you”, when you are talking with people and you think you know someone but are not sure. There is nothing more irking than a person saying it’s nice to meet you when you’ve met them fourteen times.

If you forget someone’s name, be observant and try to catch it from someone else speaking. If you are backed in a corner smile and say “this is so embarrassing, you look so much like my friend Sara right now that I can’t get off the idea that your name is Sara and I know it’s not…” Don’t be that dick that says “Who are you again?” When you’re talking to a group, make eye contact with everyone listening.

Remember Something

Even if you are only remembering one thing, try to remember the conversations with people you encounter. In order to remember someone’s name, use it a few times during your conversation with that person so it sticks. If you’re a dog lover, remember their breed of dog and the dog’s name. If they have kids, remember how many and their gender if you can. Next time you see them you can say, “How is your little girl, is she starting 1st grade?”

Remember to ask about the trip they’re going on next month. Just remember something, it makes people feel special and you’re more likely to have successful relationships with them.


Get more stuff like this

Subscribe to our mailing list and get interesting stuff and updates to your email inbox.

More about Erika Lauren

Erika Lauren is a Boston born French girl spending her days as a workin girl and dog mom, and her nights as a nocturnal writer. She's a content creator for The Haute Mess, XOJane, and Email:

Leave a comment

Your email address will not be published.

Subscribe to Bagel Talk

I solemly swear not to flood your inbox. Monthly emails only